Art of Theft

There was a thread about stealing from walmart in the old forums, now I wanna know about it. I've always been really bad at lying, cheating, and stealing in any way. Well, now it's Ben's turn to get his uppance. Give me buttsex!

pretty much take the upc code off of anything, avoid electronics, don't think that you are doing anything wrong cause then u'll look sketch, and tits are a good place to hide things. or up ur sleeve

So you do this regularly?

it really depends on what you're stealing. make sure there are no people at all around you, stores have plainclothes employees walking around at all times looking for thieves. If you're going to take anything over $20 i would make sure it doesn't have a security strip on it. only take one item at a time, that way they have less of a chance to catch you. Don't steal from best buy, they're able to keep a watch on almost everyone in the store, and if the person at the moniter can't see you an employee is watching you. in walmart do it in between large racks where there are no cameras visable. if there are any announcements over the intercoms for a manager make sure you abandon the idea. Overall i would advise you to not do it, but that's what i know about security systems. Also, if you're doing it and see the same person multiple times throughout the store, i'd say stop because it's prolly an employee in plainclothes.

small things are easier for obvious reasons. if you can fit in your palm, it's pretty easy to do a sleight of hand trick, even if someone is looking at you

also, don't wear suspicious stuff

and don't try that whole foil-lined-shopping-bag-from-another-store trick. they know. it doesn't work.

if you are stealing in walmart and the alarms go off just ignore it and keep walking, once you're out the door they arn't allowed to try and stop you, but don't run, just walk and pretend you didn't notice

Stell wrote:

if you are stealing in walmart and the alarms go off just ignore it and keep walking, once you're out the door they arn't allowed to try and stop you, but don't run, just walk and pretend you didn't notice

By that, it would also be logical to exit along with a crowd of people.

that is true as well, or wait until the greater is busy talking to someone, or all of the above

Here's a cliche but help trick that is as old as time. Simply take what you want at any point and walk straight out. If no one confronts you, great, mission accomplished. However, if someone does, simply whip out you penis and walk towards them menacingly. They will either back down because of your obvious assertion of dominance, or they will think you are crazy and let you off the hook.

that's very true, it is a great way to assert dominance

yeah, see, i saw a guy do that once. a woman nearby freaked out and nearly severed it by swinging at it repeatedly with her many-keyed lanyard.

wow that's amazing that you actually saw someone do that

NostalgiCK wrote:

wow that's amazing that you actually saw someone do that

She sees is all the time, it's her penis.

you're right, ben. and unlike yours, mine needs it's own pant leg. my girlfriend now has a permanent limp

That's hot

gross

guess who saved herself $45? this lady! hahaha! fuck you coroporations suffocating on your own capitalistic obesity! hah!

I've never been a theiver. Just not my thing. But minor shop lifting has become increasingly difficult to get away with and the punishments have become harsher. Ask ryan, or bigs.

At least I never buy any sort of software. I always pirate software.

Nerd@<3 wrote:

guess who saved herself $45? this lady! hahaha! fuck you coroporations suffocating on your own capitalistic obesity! hah!

What'd you get?

Disco_Lemonade wrote:

I've never been a theiver. Just not my thing. But minor shop lifting has become increasingly difficult to get away with and the punishments have become harsher. Ask ryan, or bigs.

What happened to them?

makeup, perfume, and a new wallet. i love my purse

and jake, i don't look like a sneaky tweaker and i actually buy other Poos. therefor i don't look suspicious

Tweaker?